What I Hope Every Girl Knows When She Has a Crush

I'm currently creating a class called My Changing Self: Bodies, Emotions & Growth, designed to support girls as they navigate the transition into puberty.

Throughout the class, we explore the four phases of the menstrual cycle and what our bodies need during each stage, how to move through big emotions, how to listen to and understand our body's messages, what it means to be a good friend to ourselves and others, how to repair relationships after conflict, and how to navigate the exciting—and sometimes confusing—world of crushes and romantic feelings.

Today I was working on the lesson about crushes.

As I was designing the curriculum, I created a simple self-check-in for girls to return to whenever they have feelings for someone, begin a romantic relationship, or find themselves thinking about another person a lot. The more I looked at it, the more I realized these questions aren't just about crushes. They apply to friendships, family relationships, and really every meaningful connection we have.

At the heart of the questions is one simple idea:

Does this relationship bring me closer to myself, or take me farther away from myself?

What struck me most is that these questions are just as relevant for a 10-year-old as they are for a 25-year-old, a 40-year-old, or a 75-year-old.

I can't help but wonder how different so many of our relationships might be if we learned, early on, that healthy relationships don't require us to abandon ourselves. If children grow up understanding how to stay connected to their own well-being, friendships, interests, boundaries, and sense of worth, they may recognize much sooner when a relationship isn't honoring who they are.

That's the dream I'm nurturing through Love School.

To help children—and in this class, girls especially—enter the world of relationships feeling prepared, empowered, and deeply rooted in who they are.

Here's a peek at the Self Check-In:

• Am I still laughing?

• Am I still spending time with my friends and family?

• Am I still doing the things that make me feel like me?

• Am I still listening to my body and my feelings?

• Am I still telling the truth, even when it's hard?

• Am I still being kind to myself?

  
  

Because no matter your age or the kind of relationship you're in, these questions remain a gentle reminder to come back to the most important relationship you'll ever have—the one you have with yourself. ❤️

This self-check-in is just one small piece of My Changing Self: Bodies, Emotions & Growth. If you'd like to explore the full learning experience, visit Upcoming Classes.